Updated Fun Facts!

BBW Escort in Chicago

Updated Fun Facts!

In depth and random facts about BBW escort in Chicago, Erin Black

The last time I did this blog post was 2015. Some things have definitely changed while others have stayed the same (and would; I can’t change my ethnic background, after all).

It’s interesting to see how my politics, attitudes, and boundaries have shifted and changed over three years, and even more interesting to think about how they’ve changed since I first started working in late 2012.

So, without further ado, here are some answers to questions I get more frequently than not that are of a more personal nature.

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Erin, what’s your background? Are you mixed? What’s the deal?”

I honestly have no idea where people come up with the idea that I’m more than just white, but I STILL get asked this question a lot. My ethnic background is about as northern/western European as it gets. I’m British, Irish, German, Polish, and Sicilian. I did one of those 23andMe things, and it showed exactly what I’ve been told all my life, along with a smattering of Sardinian (unsurprising, seeing as how Sicily and Sardinia are in pretty close proximity).

So I’m white. Very white. White-privileged white.

“What’s your sexual orientation? How would you describe your gender?”

This question is pretty complicated and nuanced, and for those reasons I normally don’t get too deep into this, but here we go.

My sexual orientation is bi/pansexual. I’m female by birth assignment, and my assigned sex aligns with my gender. I identify as a woman and my pronouns are she/her. My relationship style is non-monogamy leaning towards polyamory.

When it comes to kink orientations, I really don’t care to be called “Mistress.” I prefer “Miss,” “Goddess,” “Erin,” or “Daddy.” I am FAR more a Daddy than I am a Mistress. While we’re on BDSM terminology, I don’t refer to submissives as “slaves.” Being a service top is very much part of my sexual identity as well.

“Have you been effected by FOSTA?”

I personally don’t know anyone who hasn’t been effected by FOSTA, myself included. However, the effects I’ve felt haven’t done things such as put me in harms way or forced me to see clients I wouldn’t normally see.  I’m not nearly as busy as I have been in the past due to losing ad platforms and constantly having to readjust my advertising and marketing schema, but those annoyances are slight in comparison.

It’s that whole “white-privileged white” thing, and it makes a huge difference.

If you’re curious about how other workers have been effected, I’d suggest reading and following Black politically-oriented sex workers like @RebelleCunt and @ThotScholar on Twitter. They’re both brilliant.

“You really seem to do a lot, between being an escort, running a consulting business, maintaining websites and a server, and all the other things you do. How do you maintain balance? Do you even have time to see me?”

I do have time to see you, but that’s why booking in advance is SO IMPORTANT. While I do a lot of things, all of those things added up probably account for full-time work when put together. I just break up my work in different manners and can’t necessarily “leave work at work” since I work for myself.

I keep things balanced by doing a lot of yoga, making time to be social with people outside of this industry, and sleeping in longer than I probably should. 😉

“I’d really love to see you, but I’m not kinky at all and have no interest in it. Can I still spend time with you?”

ABSOFUCKING-LUTELY! Kink is a lot of fun, but I can certainly have too much of a good thing. It’s really nice to get cozy with someone in softer, more romantic ways. Everyone enjoys some level of variety, and moving away from kink, for me, is variety that I not only enjoy, but that I need in order to feel balanced.

So yes! Book me, even if you’re not interested in kink! 😀

“How long have you been doing this? Why don’t you have reviews? Where can I learn more about you?”

I’ve been doing sex work since late 2012, so I’ll be coming up on my sixth anniversary in November of this year. By some standards, that makes me “old-school,” but trust me. There are others who have been in the business FAR LONGER than I have.

I don’t have reviews because I delisted from TER back in January. I possess my reviews, but no longer wish to participate in review culture. Considering some folks won’t read an ad, I’m hard-pressed to believe that folks who ask for reviews would be willing to get at them through TER anyway; TER delisted all American-based escorts, and doesn’t allow US-based IP addresses to access the site. So you’d need to use a VPN to get around that.

You can learn more about me by following me on Twitter and Instagram (links in the footer), signing up for my newsletter (it’s occasional, I promise), or by booking a date with me and taking me out to dinner. 😉

That’s really it for now! I should be sending out a newsletter here once I have firm dates for NYC, so for those of you interested in booking me for my NYC trip in October, be sure to sign up for the mailing list and check back here for updates.

xoxo

Erin

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At least 3 reasons why I decided to delist from TER

Why I Delisted from The Erotic Review

BBW GFE Escort in Chicago Erin Black TER Delisting

**To see current testimonials that folks have been kind enough to write, head here.**

Welcome back, those of you who make it this far to begin with.

Some of you may have noticed that I decided to delist from The Erotic Review (TER) during the last part of January 2018. This was definitely not a spur of the moment, fly-by-night decision. I’d been ruminating about my “participation” within the review community that exists on TER for quite some time.  I’ve always had two main issues concerning TER, those being:

1. The experiences that I have with folks who see me are by nature super intimate, super private, and based on mutual chemistry. These experiences are by their very nature completely subjective, and asking people to “rate” these experiences within a clearly bias system is unfair. I’ll extrapolate on this later, but this view was one I even held when I first began as a pro-domme, and I made mention of it on my very first website.

2. The original owner of TER is a misogynist, and went to prison for hiring a hitman (that was actually an FBI agent) to murder an escort who would not be listed on TER. I could forgive divulging intimate details of my personal life under the guise of “erotica,” but this? How could I rectify this kind of atrocity towards a fellow worker? If the then-owner of TER would go to such lengths, what kind of membership is it attracting?

Despite those two very strong reasons to delist, I kept on. Why, you ask?

TER was beneficial to me for a very long time. TER made me very good money for a very long time, and helped me to establish myself as a well-known and respected provider both with clients and with my peers. I exchanged control of my work narrative in return for money, clients, and reputation. And you know what? It worked. It worked really well for me, honestly.

Until it didn’t.

Here’s the long-form list of reasons why I ultimately delisted from TER, in chronological order.

1. The Erotic Review is a misogynistic entity who’s sole purpose is to create revenue for itself. It has no actual interest in making sure providers are treated fairly and safely, and it has no interest in making sure  clients get “the most bang for their buck.” They do not care about how providers wish to market themselves or control their own narratives; it’s not their job to do so.

In April of 2016, I was met with my first completely false and erroneous review from a client in New York that I had flatly denied to see. Apparently, he felt it necessary to write a review detailing activities that I didn’t participate in, along with shaming my body. I was furious, and I took it to TER. The review stood until the day I had my profile pulled down, and future clients continued to ask me for services that I clearly state I don’t offer. It was maddening.

You see, with TER, the onus of proof is always on the provider. The provider is taxed with turning over identifying emails and exchanges that prove that we didn’t see someone who wrote a false review. The problem with this? Many who have false reviews have never, ever hand contact with the person who wrote the review. TER requires that you initiate contact with the reviewer via their private messaging system to get them to provide information, and TER will take any response from the reviewer as proof that you had seen the person.

Last I checked, that’s not how deductive reasoning works.

That review was the first time my narrative was seriously fucked with, and it put a really bad taste in my mouth. I’d known women who had dealt with a plethora of fake reviews— some were removed, but most were left standing, and those reviews effected their business. The idea that anyone with an axe to grind, or free VIP days to gain (TER provides free “VIP” days for writing reviews, which grants those people access to reading full reviews instead of just previews) could effect my business in such a way was honestly beyond me. I was mad. I felt violated. But still, TER brought me web hits and clients, so I kept on.

Then, one fateful website and scoring system revamp happened; not only were providers disgusted with the new guidelines, but so were those clients who used the system to vet providers for potential dates.

To be frank and honest, those that griped about the change in the scoring system just finally caught on to how unfair the scoring system was to begin with. Firstly, TER prioritizes certain “acts.” Those that don’t provide certain acts can never achieve a 10 score for performance. This could have been the single most amazing experience in your life, but if the provider you saw didn’t allow certain acts (it matters not if you wanted them in the first place), you as a reviewer could not score her performance as a 10. TER has also been known to dock appearance scores for women who are BBW, WOC, disabled women, and women who generally fall outside of the White Euro-centric Standard of Beauty ™. I’ve seen it myself—clients would score me a 9 or 10 in looks, only to have the review be posted as a 7 or 8. For the most part, this scoring system didn’t play too greatly into my overall standing there; the content of my reviews was always stellar.

Which leads me to the next reason I decided to delist from TER:

2. TER forces reviewers to admit that an illegal transaction has happened between the provider and the client. With our current legal atmosphere in the US where most forms of in-person sex work are illegal, TER is an indictment of the provider and this is a risk I’m no longer willing to take.

Here’s the caveat for having stellar review content though- TER requires quite explicit language in their reviews, and sends back reviews that aren’t explicit enough for their readership. Here’s my theory on it. Most of TER’s membership comes from countries where porn and other explicit material is banned or blocked via their country’s nationalized Internet. Because TER doesn’t contain anything that would constitute pornography, folks in those countries can work around and obtain TER memberships in order to access “erotica.” In order to keep those memberships high and keep money rolling in, TER had to make reviews super-explicit. They’d lose membership money otherwise. This is also why TER is hard-pressed to delete fake reviews; any and all reviews ultimately make TER money. Now, I don’t have any proof of this, but through conversations with other folks in this business, this seems to be the most reasonable explanation outside of TER being a misogynistic entity.

Honestly though, I’m just not willing to take the risk any longer for many reasons—not least of all, the protection of those I work with and those I see, along with family and friends.

There are a few more pragmatic reasons that I’ve also delisted from TER, too.

3. With the advent of social media (Twitter), TER is becoming less and less pertinent, and has been sending me less and less web traffic over time.

You can see this simply by heading over to TER and seeing what kind of action is taking place. On my local board, it’s a bunch of ISOs that simply don’t apply to me, questions that squick me out, and very little other activity. On the general boards, its a hot mess of misogyny and misinformation. I’d much rather be on Twitter and interact with my cohort in that way.

Because TER is sending me less and less ad traffic, that tells me that folks are finding me other places. Even when I would post ads, I wouldn’t see the return in hits that I used to. Granted, interpreting analytics is kind-of a dark art; people find you any number of places and get to your website in any number of ways. In my case and observation however, TER crept lower and lower down that referral list until most weeks, it wasn’t even listed. Yet another sign that delisting might not be a bad idea.

4. TER is real hard to find via a Google search.

I’m not sure who’s heading up TER’s SEO department, but right now it’s slim to none. Sure, you can find TER pages when you search actual escorts by name, but you’re not going to find a list of *enter city here* escorts via TER entry for Google searching.  I’m personally trying to eliminate the middleman as much as possible, and delisting from TER helps with that.

5. The plain ol’ fear that whenever I’d meet a new playmate, I’d be scrutinized to death and constantly wonder if I’d have a new review to contend with later.

This is such a bummer, honestly. There’s nothing worse than the pressure of meeting someone new and having to wonder if this person is going to tear you limb from limb or divulge your private proclivities from behind a computer screen three months later. TER reviews don’t take the reviewer into consideration; chemistry is after all a two-way street, and it simply isn’t possible to have the same chemistry with every guest. The worry of a new (bad) review that could impact my business until the next (good) review went up became kind-of overwhelming. I decided I didn’t want to play anymore.

Really though, it was just time to put my money where my mouth is. I’ve been at this for 6 years (which qualifies me as a “veteran” in an industry where most folks last an average of 2 years), have built myself a solid business and reputation, and I’m going to hold with that. I’m unafraid. I’ve watched numerous women delist over the last few years, including women whom I call my nearest and dearest friends.

Now, if you happen to be a provider and are considering delisting from TER, I would ask you to consider it fully and not to take delisting lightly. Delisting is not for everyone, and I don’t believe that everyone should do it. Some would call me bold and foolish to delist while living in Chicago, and most of them wouldn’t be wrong. Some cities absolutely thrive on review board culture, and everyone I’ve talked to concerning delisting did lose income at the start. If you can’t afford to lose income, even if just for a small period of time, don’t delist. It’s not your time to do so. I would also tell folks who tour heavily or are just starting to tour heavily not to delist either. Different folks have different business models, and I am not the one to tell people to do something that could potentially mess with their money.

Delisting is a deeply personal choice.

My hope is that if review culture remains, it will shift dramatically and become as objective as possible. Does the online photo match the real-life person? Was she a charming and wonderful person that you would spend time with again? There really isn’t too much more information that should sway your decision-making, really. You should be able to create your own story with the provider of your choosing, not set up false expectations based on an explicit review.

I’ll be following up this entry with one about my recent hiatus—another reason why my delisting came at this particular time.

xoxo

Erin

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©2017 Erin Black. Designed by Black/Ash Consulting.

Here’s some basics about me.

For anyone who is curious enough to want to know but afraid to ask, here’s the low-down on some words that apply to me. I am:

  • white – standard euro-mutt with a heavy dose of British.  I’m also Sicilian, and that island was conquered by about everyone at one time or another.  I get asked a lot if I’m “mixed”, for some reason.  I am not.  I’m fairly standard white.
  • genderqueer/femme – I am female by virtue of birth assignment, and am generally comfortable with feminine pronouns (though I was thought to be a boy up until the day I was born. Go figure.). My gender identity is far more apparent via my sexual practices, and I really feel comfortable identifying as “a gay man happily trapped in a woman’s body”. I really enjoy when I get called “Daddy”.
  • queer(ish) – I’m attracted to both masculine and feminine individuals, but find myself in longer-term situations with men. Queer men, feminist men, and men who don’t sexually identify in a binary manner.
  • kinky- I consider “kinky” to be a sexual orientation.  I’m a lifestyle switch who leans on the dominant side of that equation.  My life would be pretty rough without kink as a means of sexual expression.
  • sex worker – full service, pro-domme/switch, PSO (from time to time), and slightly activist in nature.  I feel that what I do is important in the grand scheme of normalizing sex, especially sex that is considered culturally taboo.
  • non-monogamous – I’ve tried monogamy many a time, and it normally doesn’t work.  My relationships ebb and flow, and my most successful ones are always open. I currently have a long-term lover/partner/play partner who is also non-monogamous.
  • neurotypical(ish)- I was diagnosed with anxiety-induced depression when I was 18, and I’ve been “managing” that without medication pretty decently for about 10 years.
  • fat – because “fat” is not a bad word. It’s a descriptor. I’m also tall and fit. No, “fat” and “fit” are not mutually exclusive.
  • over-educated – I have 2 Bachelor’s degrees that I can’t do much with without a Master’s degree. I plan on going back.  I’m also pretty street savvy. I was not handed those degrees, and had to work at least part time through obtaining both of them.
  • middle class – I don’t live paycheck to paycheck. I am stable and comfortable.