The Importance of Exploration and Why It’s Okay If Something Isn’t For You.

Chicago Kinky Escort Erin Black Toys

Exploring is Awesome. So are boundaries.

Chicago's Consumate Companion, Kinkster, and Escort

Quite frankly, as a Chicago kinky escort, sexual exploration is really one of my greatest joys in life.

I absolutely love guiding people and finding out what works and doesn’t work, what feels amazing and what someone could maybe do without.

When you set out on a journey in order to discover what it is you’re looking to experience, it can be overwhelming. Sex is seriously only limited by our imaginations!

With an infinite number of options at hand, where does one even decide to begin?

When I first started my own personal journey, I followed the blood trail, almost literally.  What kinds of thoughts and images got my blood rushing and made my cheeks flush? What made my pussy throb? What got me wet? Whether it was the Sleeping Beauty trilogy that Anne Rice wrote, or a book about sexual fantasies, I followed the trail.  Imagining myself in the situations described, or imagining doing those things to others, I started to find my path.

Eventually, I got to experience many of the things I’d only dreamed of, and the results were often quite mixed, especially in the beginning.

Living out fantasies is very different than having them. In your mind, you literally control every aspect of your fantasy world, and you can get as detailed as you like, right down to what someone’s breath smells like. That’s what makes fantasies so wonderful! They are literally perfect every single time. You’re also always in control, which is a very comfortable spot to be.

Once you start experimenting with bringing your fantasies to life, you have to take a few things into consideration (and by “a few”, I mean “a lot). The most important thing to remember is this:

We are humans. We are not perfect. And no one can realistically expect us (or our experiences) to be perfect, ever.

Your brain-time fantasies are oftentimes held as the zenith of perfection- and for getting off by yourself, that’s rad! Your fantasies should be exactly what you want them to be! When you add another person into the mix and start playing in real-time, your controlled fantasy environment seeks to be. Events and attitudes ebb and flow.  Something you’ve thought about for years and that’s gotten you hard for just as long can quickly turn into something you’d hope to never experience again (single-tail whippings are certainly hot in porn, but man are they painful).

Having a partner that you can communicate with and trust is really important.

Remember that if you’re seeking out a partner that has experience in an area that you don’t, you ultimately have the say in what happens to you.  If you want something to stop, you can either arrange a safe word ahead of time and use it in order to stop the action, or if you’re like me, (unless there is a certain type of play happening), when someone asks me to stop, I simply stop. Talking about what happened to cause the stopping is important, but more than likely, switching activities will redirect your playtime and keep things hot and saucy.

Again- we can never anticipate fully how we are going to react to certain types of play! This is something that even the most sexually adventurous people understand and embrace, and it makes playtime endlessly interesting and hot while also being mindful and compassionate.

Also keep in mind that some activities take time to enjoy- if a stimulus is new, it can be quite shocking to both our minds and bodies.

Of course, you may decide to never try that particular activity again, but i know full well that some of my favorite things definitely took some time to acquire a taste for.

Whatever you decide to explore, whether it’s role playing or impact play or golden showers or bondage or prostate play remember that you’re supposed to enjoy yourself! That’s the most important thing.

Until next time!

Erin

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More about my style of play.

More on my style of play

Many of you have found your way to me because you’re looking to expand your sexual horizons, or you already have tastes that are epicurean.

You’ve definitely come to the right place; I absolutely adore catering to fetishists, bdsm players, and of course those looking to simply broaden their horizons and experiment!

Sensuality is really important to me.  I know there are those of you out there who love the idea of being with a voluptuous, tattooed bbw, but don’t necessarily want the kink. This is of course a possibility! Everyone enjoys variety, and I am absolutely no different. As a sensual hedonist, I really enjoy all sorts of sexytime exploits, and romantic, sensual encounters are definitely on the list of things I enjoy!

As a kink-oriented individual by nature, my tendencies lean towards service topping and dominance.  Serivce-topping is a really specific term that essentially means that I love doing things to you that you want me to do. Longing for someone to strap up and take you from behind? Into it. Interested in experiencing prostate massage for the first time with someone who is patient and well-versed? Into it.  Curious about loss of control, me taking you to the edge and back, and building you to one of the most intense orgasms you’ll ever have? Into it. 

My toy and equipment collection is pretty extensive.  Perhaps, you might even have some fantasies that involve cross-dressing, lingerie, shoes, and other sensual items.  I absolutely love this kind of play and love gender-bending/gender fuckery (as long as it’s in no way demeaning or humiliating)! We’re really only limited by our imaginations!

 Rougher, dominant, woman-led sexual experiences are some of my favorites; I love to take control and tell you exactly what I want, when and how I want it.

I love being pleased and using people for my own pleasure.  Do you want me to ravish you completely with no signs of letting up? into it. Want to spend time worshipping every inch of my curvy, soft body? Into it. 

Because I entered into this world as a professional dominatrix and mistress, I still thoroughly enjoy more traditional BDSM sessions as well.

From flogging and caning to spanking and other forms of impact play to electrical play, heavy bondage and more, I’m well-versed and very educated in safe, sane, consensual play. I especially love role play that takes on the form of me as a disciplinarian (Mommy and Teacher especially) and you as my naughty boy or student.  Please note that while I can be a stern mommy, teacher, or disciplinarian, I’m only physically and mentally sadistic when someone expresses that want. I am not into guessing your needs or wants in any way

Consensual non-consent sessions are best once we’ve gotten to know one another.  I am not a mean-spirited or cruel person.  I revel in your delight in submission and exploration and have no desire to “force” you to do anything unless it is specifically pre-arranged and part of a role play.

Here’s a list of activities I love:

  • Anal training
  • Body Worship (ass, feet, legs, etc)
  • Bondage (cling film, tape, cuffs, rope)
  • CBT
  • Chastity Training/key holding
  • Corporal Punishment and Impact Play
  • Cross-dressing/panty play
  • Cuckold Play (real or role play)
  • Doubles/triples Sessions with my favorite ladies/gentlemen
  • Edging
  • Face Sitting/Smothering
  • Face Slapping
  • Fetish clothing, such as leather, latex, stockings, and lingerie
  • Fisting
  • Humiliation
  • Medical Play/Sounding (basic scenes)
  • Nipple Play/Torture
  • Objectification/Human Furniture
  • Pegging/Strap-on training/Strap-on worship
  • Play Piercing
  • Prostate Massage
  • Role Play (Doctor/patient, Teacher/student, Age Play Race Play, etc).
  • Sensory Play/Sensory Deprivation
  • Spanking (especially OTK)
  • Sploshing/Messy Play
  • Spitting
  • Tease and Denial
  • TENS unit
  • Temperature Play
  • Tickling/Tickle Torture
  • Trampling
  • Toys for boys
  • Violet/Neon Wand
  • Watersports
  • Wax Play

I know that this list is really extensive, but its really reflective of where my personal interests are! If you’re unfamiliar with any of these terms, please do Google them.  If your particular interest isn’t listed here, please feel free to contact me! All session negotiations are done after screening is completed, so once that’s done, we can really get into the nitty-gritty about what you’re looking for.

I hope this helps everyone understand that my style of play is intensely sensual, thoroughly indulgent, and all-encompassing. I can’t wait to play!

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©2017 Erin Black. Designed by Black/Ash Consulting.