Couple’s Guide To Hiring an Escort

Couple's Guide To Hiring a Couple's Escort

How To Hire an Escort for Couples

Blonde sensual domination chicago

Chicago Blonde BBW Companion Erin Black

Perhaps you’re curious about introducing another partner into your dynamic, but you honestly have no idea where to start. Hopefully, you and your partner have a warm, comfortable, and supportive relationship where you can share your wants and desires openly and honestly with one another.

Reassuring your partner that you’re not trying to replace them can oftentimes be important when bringing up ideas surrounding introducing another person into your sexual dynamic, and you should really ask yourself the following question regarding adding another person into your sexytimes:

Am I looking to add another person into my relationship dynamic, or do I want to try having another person join my partner and I for noncommittal funtimes?

If you’re looking to change the primary dynamic of your relationship from that of a couple to that of a triad, this article isn’t for you. You’d want to google “polyamory” or “poly triad” or something along those lines.

If, however, you’re part of a couple and want to have an encounter with a third person that’s purely sexual, then this is the article for you!

Bringing a third person into your bedroom can truly be an adventure that brings the two of you closer together as a couple if done correctly, or spell disaster if done incorrectly. As a professional escort and companion, as well as a sexual adventurer in my private life, I’ve seen this go both ways, and I’ll be honest: hiring a companion is the best way to ensure bringing in a third person goes as best as it possibly can.

Here’s why hiring an escort who sees couples beats the pants off of trying to find a unicorn on OK Cupid or Tinder:

Finding a unicorn in the wild is often very difficult and time-consuming.

Let’s face it. If you’re a couple trying to add a third, you’re more than likely a man/woman couple looking to add another woman. Anecdotally, I’ve never had a same-sex couple approach me personally or professionally and personally? I don’t want to be a random sexual experiment for a couple trying to spice up their relationship. Don’t get me wrong; there are some women out there that are very into having sex with and dating couples. Most single women on dating apps aren’t looking to hook up with couples expressly, and those of us who would even be open to it are sick of being approached by couples that are often vulgar and downright rude. If you’re not a rude, pushy couple and you’re genuinely looking to find someone to have a great time with, the cards are already stacked against you because single bisexual/queer women are pretty over being unicorn-hunted. The ones that aren’t there yet are elusive and will probably end up evading you.

Hiring a professional escort who’s into seeing couples literally sidesteps all the wasted evenings you’d both spend swiping right and sending messages only to have your messaged ignored and deleted.

The  power dynamic differential between a single person and a couple is wildly unbalanced and it’s honestly not fair to the single person.

This is straight from the personal history books, folks. Having sex with couples, unpaid, is akin to being made to feel like a fuck machine/masturbation sleeve and whew! It can be seriously off-putting. Couples, there is NOTHING WRONG with wanting to prioritize your pleasure and experience as a couple. What’s not ok is using another person with no regards to their wants and needs in order to do so.

When you hire an escort who sees couples and specializes in couple’s dynamics, you’re hiring someone who understands that you’re trying to increase the bond and intimacy that the two of you share as a couple. I personally see myself as an augment; a special, magical person you include in your relationship when you want to feel things differently, have different experiences, and see your partner experience pleasure in a new and different way. Once the experience is over,  I as the augment go away, leaving you the couple better than I found you.

Oftentimes, adding a third party to your bedroom dynamic can end up being messy for lots of reasons you’ve never considered.

I’ve heard stories galore about couples adding a third to their bedroom fun only to have that third person decide they want more out of the relationship than the couple is willing to give.  This can and does happen when the chemistry is great between all three people, or happens to be more intense between the third and one member of the couple. If all parties aren’t careful in navigating their feelings, this scenario can turn into a war zone that’s littered with hurt feelings.

It’s my professional duty as an escort and companion to only be around when I’m specifically called for, and any professional escort worth their salt feels the same way. We treasure our time with our clients, but when our time is done, we return to our lives just as you return to yours. We value your private life as a couple just as much as we value our own. You won’t have to worry about someone trying to get in on your action unless you specifically ask them to!

So, you’ve weighed the pros and cons and ultimately decided that I’m right and hiring an escort for a threesome is probably going to be a whole lot faster and a whole lot more fun than finding someone off a dating site. Are you wondering how you go about finding an escort who sees couples? Here you go!

How To Find and Hire an Escort Who Sees Couples

There are several ways to get started! Oftentimes it can be really overwhelming to find an escort period, let alone one who sees couples. So here’s a breakdown of where to look and how!

Major Advertising Platforms Breakdown:

There are 4 major, national escort directory sites, where you can “shop” for the escort of your choice. These are also referred to as “escort malls.” Tryst.link, Slixa, Eros, and AdultSearch are the main national escort malls where you’re most likely to find reputable providers. Dickie Virgin specializes in professional Dommes/Mistresses and fetish-oriented escorts so if you’re interested in kink, BDSM, or fetish play, looking here is also a good idea. How to navigate Dickie Virgin isn’t discussed in this article, though.

There are lots of other more locale-based escort mall sites, but these are the four I’ll be discussing in this article.

Tryst.link

  1. ignore this screen. I don’t find it to be accurate at all.

2. this is much more accurate as far as search parameters. You can enter your zip code, provider preference, and you can make sure they cater to couples!

Questions about finding and booking an escort for couples? Here's the TL;DR.

Most of the time googling “escort in (your city) will get you a bunch of escort ad mall results. Sites like Tryst.link, Slixa, and Eros are sites that escorts commonly use for advertising, and you can browse to your hearts content there.

If you’re a more savvy google user, you can narrow your search parameters and search phrases like “bbw escort chicago”, kinky escort cleveland”, etc. You can try searching “couples escort in (your city)” but I’d guess not a lot will come up unless an escort is very savvy regarding marketing to couples.

Most escorts will list this on their ads! There will be a portion on the ad for “who they see”, and those who see couples will list it as such. If you found the escort via twitter or other means that doesn’t list a preference, check out that escort’s website, and look at her rates page and FAQ page. If she sees couples, she’ll probably note it on one or both of these pages.

Generally speaking, yes. A lot of escorts also want to speak with or email the woman in the couple to make sure both parties are on the same page regarding the booking. Consent is very important, and most escorts aren’t into “surprising” anyone with their presence.

This truly varies from escort to escort, but most charge an additional flat fee ranging from $200-300 on top of their normal rate to double their rate. They should have a section on their site that indicates what the couple’s charge is.

Ready to book?

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©2017 Erin Black. Designed by Black/Ash Consulting.

Chicago BBW Body Worship

Body Worship 101

Body Worship Escort Mistress Erin Black

Body Worship

Chicago NYC Body Worship with Erin Black

Blonde sensual domination chicago

Chicago Blonde BBW Companion Erin Black

You know you love a big, fine woman. Are you willing to admit that publicly, or is your need for a soft belly, heavy breasts, and a big ass something you need to indulge in more privately? Whichever it is matters not to me. You can come bury your face in my tits and ass. and have Chicago BBW Body Worship with me, Erin Black.

Trust me; I love every second of it.

Maybe you’re interested in giving me a sensual massage and letting your hands and mouth explore my body.

Oh, you want a woman who takes what she wants? Then lie back and let me sit on your face in just the right spot.

If you’re into smothering and breath control while having your nose deep between my ass and thighs, I’ll set a timer and see how long you can hold your breath. Don’t worry. You’ll be handsomely distracted all the while.

Questions about Chicago NYC body worship? Check out this FAQ.

Each session is designed specifically to suit what you’re looking for, and no two sessions are the same!

However, if you’re looking specifically for body worship, the session will just encompass that. You’ll be able to explore my body, worship my ass, belly, breasts, feet, thighs, etc., and attempt to please me with your mouth ( and hands, if I give permission).

I can also just sit on your face, show my ass off to you, do toy shows,  and the like. Let’s get creative and have fun with it!

My preference is to eventually end up nude. However, if you prefer a full panty, leggings, stockings, or other undergarment, please let me know and I’ll do my best to accommodate your request!

You can have your cake and eat it, too. 😉 I do ask that when sending over your wants and desires that you keep the length of the session you want in mind.

If you’re interested in combining multiple areas of play, I do recommend booking at least 90 minutes so we aren’t rushed.

Unless you specifically request otherwise, I certainly will be! This touching can include my hands, feet, lips, and mouth depending on the scene.

Ready to book?

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Chicago BBW Body Worship

Prostate Play 101: An Intro for Beginners.

Prostate Massage Escort Chicago

Prostate Massage 101

Prostate Massage Escort Chicago

Chicago Blonde BBW Companion Erin Black

So, you’ve heard about the magic and majesty that is the P-Spot. You’ve wondered if the pleasures are truly as legendary as professed by those who ascribe to the prostate’s wonders. Ready to meet a  prostate massage escort in Chicago?

Maybe you’ve tried on your own only to be left thinking “What the hell was that about? It really didn’t feel that great and all I really ended up with was a sore arm.”

If you’re really interested in exploring both the pleasure and health benefits of prostate massage, you’ve come to the right place.

Using both my hands and toys, we’ll explore the sensations of both external and internal prostate massage and pleasure.

Curious about prostate massage in Chicago? Check out the FAQ below!

You mean aside from feeling amazing? There are actually tons of health benefits that come along with regular prostate massage. Granted, the medical community hasn’t fully gotten behind it, and the research has been limited to small sample studies, in most cases.

However, there is anecdotal evidence that prostate massage can help people experiencing the following issues:

  • painful ejaculation
  • urinary dysfunctions
  • erectile dysfunction
  • prostatitis

Please note though that I am NOT a medical professional, and you should discuss any issues that cause you pain or discomfort with your medical care provider.

There are lots of sexual health benefits to prostate massage as well, but the two main ones are:

  • shortened refractory period (the amount of time between orgasming and being able to become erect again)
  • more intense orgasms

Honestly, I can’t tell you from first-hand experience since I don’t have a prostate.

However, I always ask my clients what it feels like, and most of them tell me it’s an intense sensation and often feels like an extremely pleasurable pressure that starts internally and spreads throughout their entire body. Folks who are new to prostate stimulation might take some time to adjust to the new feeling.

Some folks can feel their prostatic fluid (the fluid produced by the prostate) move up and out of their bodies, and they liken the sensation to ejaculating without orgasm.

Now, what I see in my sessions based on my client’s reactions? Prostate massage has produced some of the most pleasurable, long-lasting, and intense orgasms most of my clients have ever encountered.

That in and of itself is reason enough to try, right?

They shouldn’t be. If you are experiencing intense pain or discomfort, you should stop the experience no matter who’s performing the prostate massage. If you decide to see me for a prostate massage, I check in with your comfort level quite frequently and make adjustments to my technique based on your feedback.

Intense pain and discomfort could indicate a prostate infection or enlarged prostate. You should consult your healthcare provider for a diagnosis.

I’m so glad you asked! I wrote a blog post all about preparing for any type of anal experience, and you can read it here.

Honestly, it depends. Some people are incredibly hard during prostate massage, and others never get erect at all. There’s nothing wrong with either of these scenarios.

In fact, if you’ve had prostate cancer or have erectile dysfunction, there’s nothing to worry about. Prostate massage doesn’t revolve around having an erect penis; it’s about your prostate.

You absolutely can! However, it often takes quite some time in order for this to happen. Some of my clients experience prostate orgasm the first time they’re with me, but this is an exception and not the rule.

As I don’t have a prostate, I had to search for an analogy. I found this tidbit at Mr.Racy, and I think it’s a great explanation:

“The best way I can describe the difference is with this food analogy:

I’m a dude who loves meat. Yeah, I like my fruits and vegetables, but meat is where it’s at.

Sometimes a big fat juicy hamburger is what I crave. Load it up with cheese, bacon and Mayo and I’m a happy guy. Mmmmm, yum. Think of this as traditional orgasm.

Other times the only thing that will satisfy me is a juicy steak. Medium rare Filet Mignon is my personal favorite. There is absolutely nothing better than getting a tender slice and savoring every single morsel in my mouth before swallowing it. The filet is prostate orgasm.

Yes, the difference between the two is that significant.”

Also, you can have multiple prostate orgasms. The more you stimulate, the more you have. I have quite a few clients who experience multiple orgasms whenever we play, and it’s incredible to watch and be part of. Imagine having them yourself!

Ready to book?

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Detroit, Charlotte, and Charleston SC This October!

BBW Blonde Kinky Escort

Erin Black

Detroit, Charlotte, and Charleston SC Tour Dates!

Looking for a BBW blonde kinky escort in Detroit, Charlotte, or Charleston? I'll be in town!

Well, hello there! I’ve decided to hit the road again after a great time in NYC this past month.

I’m headed to Detroit October 12-14th, and I’ll be available with Addy Finch. We’re a blast. Take us out for dinner and watch us revel in or rip apart a menu. 😉 If you’d like to see a reenactment of our most famously awful dinner, please do let us know and be prepared to have a James Beard nominee ripped apart in the cutest, sexiest way possible. 😉

 Outside of Detroit, I’m going to scope out a few cities below the Mason-Dixon, which is pretty rare for me. So here’s hoping I’ll find some fun tour guides to take me out for date nights in Charlotte NC and Charleston SC! Also keep in mind that my dates overlap those of Gem DeMilo, and we’ll be available for duos, trios, and more in both these cities!

Based on my research, both Charlotte and Charleston are culinarily ripe for the picking, so there’s no shortage in great food and fun to be had.

Here’s my short list of restaurants and bars I’d love to hit up in Charlotte:

  • Dot Dot Dot is a speakeasy-style joint that’s in a storage unit behind a shopping center. Sign me up for clandestine drinks! Apparently there’s a $10 membership fee for the year, but who cares. It’ll be worth it!
  • The Crunkleton is a kinda-large bar that seats 84. It’s in a restaurant called Elizabeth that I’d also love to try, so why not make it a dinner and drinks kinda night? The Crunkleton also has a $10 membership fee, and it seems that if liquor sales outweigh food sales, an establishment has to pay dues, and that’s passed on to patrons as a membership fee. Weird, but ok. I love cocktails so an extra $10 isn’t too bad.
  • Idlewild is a casual cocktail spot that doesn’t have a set menu. Letting the talents of the bartenders shine is something that’s not as prominent as it used to be in cocktail culture, and getting something custom-made to your tastes always feels really special.
  • Soul Gastrolounge is the original cocktail place in Charlotte and has a really interesting and varied food and drink menu.
  • Haberdish is a southern-driven restaurant, so there’s no surprise that their mint julep is a favorite. They also have a drink called The Apothocary, which comes with a sidecar of CBD oil. I’m in.

Here’s my shortlist of spots I’d like to go to in Charleston, SC:

  • Dalila’s takes classics and gives them twists, which I’m always up for ( I love old-fashioneds made with great rum or reposado tequila). The food is small plates that are Cuban-influenced; I’m here for it all.
  • Babas on Cannon takes inspiration from pincho spots in Spain, aperitivo in Italy, and French cafes and combines them in to a place where expertly executed cocktails, unique wines, and tasty small plates take center stage. I love to share and try lots of things on a menu, so a pincho-style place is right up my alley.
  • Bourbon and Bubbles is definitely billed as a luxury bar/restaurant, and the dark, romantic environment makes it a perfect date night location. Bourbon and Champagne are two of my favorite libations, so why not?
  • Martin’s BBQ Joint is on this list because I really love good BBQ, particularly pork ribs. Let’s get messy and then hose one another off after we’ve gorged on brisket, mac and cheese, and coleslaw.

Just as a reminder, you don’t have to take me anywhere; we can just relax privately with one another, have some drinks, and then get down. Honestly, sometimes an escape from all the formality of dinner and drinks is what we both really need! Just make sure to stop and grab a drink for us, won’t you?

Ready to book, or perhaps you’d like to find out more about what I offer and what I’m into? Either way, I hope to see you in either Detroit, Charlotte, or Charleston this October!

xoxo

Erin

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Butt Stuff: Prostate Massage, Strap-on, and Anal Play Prep for Both Tops and Bottoms

Chicago prostate massage and strapon escort

Preparing for Prostate Massage, Strap-on Play, and Anal Play

Chicago prostate massage escort

I can remember it like it was yesterday- the first client I ever had came to me specifically because I advertised as a Chicago prostate massage escort who does strap-on play and prostate massage. I’d partaken in these activities many a time in my personal life as a top (the doer/giver of said activities), and I’d been blessed with bottoms (the receiver of said activity) who were experienced and really into it. The people I’d played with were so into these things, that they had their own prep routines, toys, preferred lubes, and puppy pads ready to go, and it made my experience as a top seamless. These folks had prepared so well, that there wasn’t any distraction from the situation at hand (heh heh).

My first-ever client though? Not so much. Not only was he ill-prepared in lots of departments (he definitely fibbed about his level of experience and to my dismay didn’t come with his favorite toys in tow or a very clean ass), and my lack of professional experience didn’t help matters for me or my bedding.

Now, almost seven years later, I’ve had my fingers, fists, and toys in more assholes than a combination urologist/proctologist, both personally and professionally. So who better to try and guide anal newbs, right?

I’ve broken this down into two sections- one section for the givers of said anal pleasures, and a section for the receivers. While there is different prep involved for both sides, I’d highly suggest reading both sections so you can build empathy and rapport with your butt buddy. Believe me; knowing what’s going on with your partner really makes the experience a whole lot better. So without further adieu:

Preparing for Prostate Massage, Strap-on Play, and Anal Play for Tops

Chicago prostate massage escort

So, you’ve finally decided to get on board with the trend and offer anal play to your clients. Or perhaps you’ve been really curious about all the fuss and why people with prostates are falling over themselves looking for willing fingers to get into their asses. Maybe you’re just really turned on by penetrating your partner anally. Trust me; I get it. I really, really do. I’m a Chicago prostate massage escort. It’s hot to me.

I’m here to dispel some myths, prepare you for worst-case scenarios, and tell you things that will make you squick, cringe, laugh, and even turn you on. Because with prostate massage, strap-on play, and anal play in general, you’ll run the emotional gamut.

Before we even get to the play date, though, you’ll need to be prepared, both with your brain and in your supply closet. Here’s a list of basics that you’ll want around if you want to make anal play a thing you do ever:

Basic supplies for prostate massage, strap-on, and anal play

  • Latex-free nitrile gloves. I buy them in black, on Amazon, in bulk. I keep them in a few different sizes at my incall location, and outside of condoms, they’re the one thing I’d never want to run out of.
  • Condoms, both latex and latex-free. Toy coverage is important, particularly if you’re sharing toys. Plus condoms can really help to contain any unexpected messes.
  • Puppy pads/Chux/Absorbent bed pads. These will save any surface your bottom is laying/kneeling/hovering above, and are just as important for catching excess lube and tossing used toys onto as they are for catching any ass leakage.
  • Lube, both water-based and silicone-based. I love Sliquid for water-based and hybrid lubes, and love Gun Oil for silicone-based. Oil-based lubes, Crisco, coconut oil, Boy Butter, and the like are best saved for large insertions, anal stretching, and fisting. Give your bottom options for their lube experience! Just remember your lube compatibilities (no oil-based with latex, use caution with silicone toys and silicone lube, etc).

The above things are really all you need, outside of your hands, to have a fucking rad prostate massage or anal insertion experience. Most of the prostate massages I give are done solely with my hands, with toys used when folks are ready to take more. If you’re anticipating playing with folks who are going to be interested in more than just your hands, or your hands are small (mine are… big, so I get away with less toy use for prostate/anal play), you’ll want to have these things on hand as well:

More advanced supplies and toys for prostate massage, strap-on, and anal play

  • Dildos of varying sizes, starting quite small in size. I personally prefer Tantus brand dildos for work purposes; they’re really great quality silicone, can be easily sanitized, and they’re durable AF. I’ve had several of their toys for well over four years and there’s little to no deterioration on them. I’m also one of those people who uses silicone lube with silicone toys (most pre-lubed condoms have silicone in the lube), and that’s been a non-issue. Also note, that all of those mega monster dildo cocks that you see in porn aren’t actually used a lot IRL. I have a few of them, and they’re truly more for intimidation/humiliation purposes and don’t serve much of a role outside of that unless I have a really greedy/hungry bottom who can actually take them.

A WORD ON INSERTABLES: Please, for the love of your body and the safety of your play partner, don’t buy cheap toys that smell like new carpet and gasoline when you take them out of the package. “Jelly” toys are full of carcinogenic agents, and anal tissue is highly vascular and super absorbent. Large dildos are often made from materials that are less than ideal to keep them affordable, and they may be so big that they can’t be covered with condoms. If your partner is interested in these, I suggest that your partner have THEIR OWN, and that these not be shared between people. The smell of these toys is often nauseating and can give folks headaches, too. High-quality insertables are not cheap, and you should only be using toys that are non-porous and can be easily sanitized/sterilized. Toys made with high-quality silicone, stainless steel, and glass are the only toys that enter me or my play partners.

  • Prostate specific toys. Whoo, these vary wildly too, and will ultimately depend on the comfort and level of intensity your bottom is looking for. My absolute go-to in this category is the Njoy Pure Wand. It’s solid stainless steel and weighs something like 2-3 lbs and can double as a weapon, but it’s prevented me from developing carpal tunnel. While there are lots of other toys like it on the market, the quality and durability of the Pure Wand is unsurpassed.

    Another prostate go-to that most people will find when looking for prostate toys is the Aneros. I personally have zero experience with this toy, as anyone who’s come to me and said they bought one used it a few times and decided they didn’t like it. Your experience may differ though!

  • A strap-on harness. These vary wildly in style, support, comfort level, and price. I personally prefer SpareParts harnesses, as they’re washable, comfortable, and really supportive. I highly recommend trying on harnesses when possible, and if you have a Pleasure Chest, Babeland, or awesome local toy store, you should be able to try them on with no worry.
  • Butt plugs of varying sizes. I honestly don’t use these a whole whole lot in prostate massage/strap-on scenarios, but they’re great to have around in case someone needs some loosening up. I find the firmer the plug, the better, and if it’s angled to do prostate stimulation, great!
  • Poppers. Yep, I said it. If you really want to get into anal play and offer your play partners an experience that they’ll definitely not forget, you’ll want to keep poppers on hand. Of course, you can always have your bottom bring their own, but I’ve turned many a person onto poppers to enhance prostate massage, strap-on, and anal play experiences and it’s changed their whole world. 

Communication with your bottom/client

Now that we’ve gotten through a supply list, we really need to go over communication with your bottom. If it’s your first time administering a prostate massage or any form of anal play, let them know! Doing something for the first time isn’t shameful, and you don’t have to be an expert in order to do it. What you do need to do though, is be up front about your level of experience, or inexperience, as may be.

You’ll also need to address your bottom’s /client’s level of experience as well. Jokes abound when it comes to the truthfulness regarding a bottom’s experience (I’ve had folks tell me they’ve never had anything in their ass and then proceed to take almost half my hand), but getting an idea of where you’ll want to start is important. It’ll inform your toy selection, positioning, and length of time you’ll need for the session. For inexperienced players, I definitely recommend a longer period of time, ninety minutes minimum, and starting out with your client on their back. It’s a position that’s easy to relax into.

Cleanliness is next to godliness: How to tell a grown ass person to clean their ass out.

Okay! So you’ve got some basic toys, all the gloves you could want, and you’ve ditched your white comforter and thrown down the puppy pad. They’ve arrived, you’ve talked a bit, and you’re excited and ready to go. So are they! Time for your client to put their heels to Jesus, right?

NAH. Stop right there.

You’ve wrongly assumed that your client is prepped the way they should be, and you’re about to be in for a shock. Here’s why:

In this scenario, your client is probably a cisgendered, heterosexually-identified man who’s never truly thought about the cleanliness of his asshole. He may have never even considered scrubbing and washing it thoroughly, let alone cleaning inside of it. He might even be one of those guys who thinks grooming and taking care of one’s appearance isn’t “manly” and might even have some programming around ass play being identified with gayness. Or, he could just be wildly unaware of his own asshole!

While lots of men do take this into consideration, a lot of cis hetero-identified men do not.

Remember the first-ever client that I saw? I assumed very incorrectly that he knew how to prep correctly and was left to deal with all kinds of shitty mess. I was under the assumption that a grown-ass man knew how to handle his own body and asshole. I was wrong. So very, very wrong.

Before your bottom even gets to you, send them this as a homework assignment. Quiz them on it, too:

HOW TO CLEAN YOUR ASS FOR ANAL SEX

It’s a really great cartoon on how to clean your ass for anal sex, and is super applicable to any sort of anal play. Have them pay particular attention to that part about going past the sigmoid colon, lest you’d like to get the front of yourself covered in ass water. Not that I’d know anything about that or anything, or why I have a latex apron. Anyway!

In our particular situation, I’d anticipate your client needing time to prep at your space. Make sure to let them know that they’ll need to bring their own enema bulb/supplies, and that the time will be included as part of the session. You’ll be amazed how many folks come prepared once you tell them prep time is on-the-clock. 😉

Also of note: if you’re going to supply Fleet enemas, or your client is going to pick one up, make sure you don’t use the liquid that comes with it! It’s a laxative, and we’re only looking to clean out a portion of the colon. Dump the contents and fill it with warm water instead.

Even if your client is prepped, I’d suggest having them hop in the shower or thoroughly clean up/wash prior to getting started. Precautionary measures, after-all.

A word on hemorrhoids and anal fissures: if your client has hemorrhoids and they are currently inflamed or an anal fissure, do not pass go and do not collect $200. Anal play is only going to make the situation worse. Hemorrhoids themselves don’t have to mean no anal play, and here’s some tips for getting around that situation.  Anal fissures are notoriously tough to heal, and need to be left alone. If your client currently has an anal fissure or tear, ass play is absolutely a no-go.

You can learn more about anal fissures here.

Hey, Erin! Is there anything tops can do, hygiene-wise, to prep for giving a prostate massage, anal play, or strap-on play?

Chicago prostate massage escort

I’m really so glad you asked! Honestly, outside of your regular routine, there’s really only one major thing you should do before going near someone’s asshole with your fingers: take care of your hands!

Whether that entails getting a manicure or trimming your nails/hangnails on your own, make sure your hands are something you’d want near your own delicate places. You’ll be wearing gloves, so a lot can be forgiven, but just do a quick check and make sure you don’t have any broken nails or anything jagged that could be felt through a glove.  If you’re femme and have cute-ass stiletto or coffin nails, make sure to stuff cotton balls into the fingertips of your gloves. Trust me, I’ve accidentally poked a prostate with a stiletto nail because I forgot to do this. It’s a faux-pas that can be hard to come back from and leave your client really uncomfortable.

The Main Event!

Now that your client/butt buddy is well-prepped and ready to go, it’s time to start the action! Lay that puppy pad down, have your supplies ready and easily accessible, and get down to it!

**Because this is an article pertaining to the basics of anal play in general, there’s not specific technique for prostate play mentioned. That’s going to be in a follow-up article!**

If it’s your client’s first time (hell, if you’re ever going to be in someone’s ass, period), they need to be turned on. You can’t just lube up and jam your fingers/a dildo into someone’s asshole. This is a one-way ticket to anal fissure town, and that’s not the kind of impression you want to leave. Chances are your client is going to be nervous, and you’ll need to help them relax in order to make this a pleasant experience for the both of you.

When it comes to getting a client turned on and not quite so nervous, I’m a big fan of massage and hand jobs, and if I’m feeling flexible enough, I’ll include oral. Paying attention to your client’s body cues, breathing, and erection will let you know when they’re ready, but definitely feel free to mix it up. You have your own methods as to how you turn a nervous client into a turned on one, and this really should be integrated into what could be considered the “warm-up phase” of your anal adventure.

It does not matter if your client booked a prostate massage, a strap-on session, or some other anally-focused experience; their asshole needs to be warmed up and prepared to take whatever you’re going to put in it. Use lots of lube, more lube, and go slowly! Remember asking about their level of experience? This is where that information comes in really handy. Newbs will need a lot more warm-up time. Folks experienced with anal play may need less. You’ll know when your client is ready for more; you’ll feel their asshole relax and become more pliable, their body will relax and cues will become apparent. When in doubt, ask! I talk to my clients A LOT during anal experiences; from making sure I’m in the right spot for prostate play to permission to insert a bigger toy for anal stretching, communication is key (even if it is along the lines of ‘is that greedy hole ready for more?’).

Also, don’t concentrate solely on your client’s ass; pay attention to their dick, balls, perineum, and general genital area. It all feels amazing and will add to their pleasure exponentially! While the experience is anally focused, it doesn’t mean all the pleasure is all anally focused; folks who are new to receiving anal play will often need more genital stimulation than those who have learned to harness their anal feelings and use them for pleasure.

I should note here something really important when it comes to anal play of any sort: your client’s dick may or may not stay hard the entire time, and chances are it will cycle through periods of being hard and being limp. This does not mean your client isn’t turned on; chances are they are super into what you’re doing. If your client starts to worry about their dick not being hard, remind them that ultimately as long as what you’re doing feels great, the hardness of their dick doesn’t matter. When in doubt, share this snippet of info with them:

The same pelvic floor muscles that contract in order to keep a dick hard are also the same muscles that need to relax in order for an asshole to open up.

OH NO! MY CLIENT HATES THIS OMG IM BAD AT THIS WHYYYYY

Chicago prostate massage escort

First off, don’t freak. This isn’t entirely a reflection on you and chances are it’s not a reflection on you at all.

You’ve done all the right things, communicated, and your client is just not into it and not having the experience they’d hoped for. That’s okay! Everyone’s body reacts differently to new stimuli, and I’ve had a few clients over the years really dislike or not get into prostate massage and anal play at all. Unfortunately, prostate massage and anal play has gained a reputation as being a Holy Grail™ sexual experience that makes everyone feel incredible and for some people this just isn’t true. If your client is one of those folks, and you can simply drop the activity and move onto something else that you’ll both be happy with.

I tell this story to clients whenever they’re disappointed that anal play wasn’t what they thought it would be:

The first time I ever had g-spot stimulation, I was NOT into it, in the least.  I didn’t like it, my body tensed up, and I couldn’t relax. It was a new sensation that neither my brain nor my body knew how to process, and I asked for the experience to end pretty quickly.  I was curious though, and with time and patience, came to understand the wonder that is that particular area of my body. Prostate stimulation isn’t much different in that sense, and can often take the body and brain some time to process.

Also, keep in mind that the more experience you gain in this area as practitioner, the more likely you’ll be to give your client a stellar experience. Your client should be understanding and empathetic towards you as someone who’s new at giving!

Cumming To an End: The Old Faithful Experience

Chicago prostate massage escort

You’ve gotten in there, and you’ve worked your magic through a series of fingers, toys, oral, dick massage, and the like. Your client is now on the brink of orgasm! Fucking awesome! How, where, and when your client orgasms is entirely up to the two of you, but here are some things you should expect.

Cum volume/viscosity will be wildly different from what you’re used to. Oftentimes, cum will be much more watery, and there will be a lot more of it. When the prostate is stimulated, it produces more seminal fluid. On top of that, an orgasm that includes anal play is often far more intense and longer-lasting than that of an orgasm produced simply through genital stimulation.

If everything goes right, your client might just be in for the most intense orgasm they’ve ever had, and that’s probably why they’re searching out this experience in the first place.

Your post-orgasm client is probably in a play-doh-like pile and unable to do much except lie there. The one thing they might be able to do, however, is tell you to get whatever’s in their asshole out of there ASAP. While your first inclination might be to just snatch out your hand or the toy, you’ll want to go slow. The sensation of having something removed from your ass can be just as intense as something going in. The directional movement out of the ass is also the way nature likes things to move, so your client’s body can also help with this.

Keep in mind though, that no matter how well your client prepped, all that moving and shaking may have caused some things to come loose. On occasion, some fecal matter will come out with your fingers/toys. No big deal, really. You signed up for ass-play after all. If it’s on your glove, take the glove off from the bottom up and ensure the glove turns inside-out; same goes for the condom that’s on the toy- let it roll over itself and turn inside-out to allow for easier clean-up.

Also, keep any comments about minimal post-play mess to yourself. It’s an ass. There’s bound to be some kind of mess at one point or another. However if the mess is extreme, you might want to recommend better prep for your client in the future. If there’s no mess and you’re thoroughly impressed, let your client know! It encourages them to keep up that prep routine for future playtime with you and others.

Keep the puppy pad/towel under your client until they’re ready to get up and clean themselves up. They’ll probably want a shower due to the copious amounts of lube you’ve used during the experience.

And Scene! Fin. The End. You did it!

You had your first anal experience and if all went well, you squicked, squeed, laughed, and enjoyed your whole way through it, and so did your client. If you want to find out what went well and what could have been better, ask your client and don’t take things personally. This is a very new skill you’re learning, and having feedback is important if you want to get really good at it! Of course, you might have just hated it and in that case, now you know. You shouldn’t feel obligated to continue on this path unless you truly want to. No shame in trying and deciding something isn’t for you. 

If you’d like more information, I’d recommend reading the entry below that’s geared towards bottoms. The more knowledge the better, right? I’m also working on a series that addresses specific activities, so for all of you looking for a prostate massage how-to, you’re in luck! 

I’m hoping you found this article helpful, and I’m opening up the comments to take questions. I’ll answer them when I can! 

Until then, remember that spelunking isn’t just for caves.

xoxo

Erin

Chicago prostate massage escort

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Preparing for Prostate Massage, Strap-on Play, and Anal Play for Bottoms

Get your ass in gear!

Chicago prostate massage escort

So, you’ve finally decided to see what all the fuss is about. You’ve heard snippets of conversations about just how enjoyable prostate massage, strap-on play, and other forms of anal play can be. You might have even tried it yourself, liked it, and you’re ready to take the plunge with a pro! You being the cognizant and well-read client that you are, decided to search the internet for information on how to prepare for your first anal experience and it’s lead you to me.

Thank goodness, really. I’ve been doing this for quite a while and I’ve given oodles of ass advice to countless clients over the years.

Just like the article pertaining to providers/tops, I’m here to dispel some myths, prepare you for worst-case scenarios, and tell you things that will make you squick, cringe, laugh, and even turn you on. Because with prostate massage, strap-on play, and anal play in general, you’ll run the emotional gamut.

Before you even show up at your top’s space though, we need to talk about being mentally and physically prepared for an anally focused experience, whether that’s prostate massage, strap-on play, or other types of anal experiences.

You're Not Gay, But Anal Play Sure Is: A Lie in Three Parts.

Chicago prostate massage escort

First and foremost, your sexual orientation and gender identity matter not when it comes to anal play. There are a ton of gay women who love anal, and a lot of gay men who hate it. There are straight men and women who love and hate both giving and receiving anal play too, as well as gender non-conforming and non-binary folks who love ! Your asshole is not gay simply because you want something in it. Butt plugs, dildos, strap-ons, and poppers aren’t gay in and of themselves either, so seriously. Get over that nonsense once and for all and start enjoying the sensations that are available to you as a human with a prostate. Let go of your preconceived notions; open your mind, and your asshole will follow!

First-Hand Experience: Finding a Provider

Chicago prostate massage escort

When I first started offering anal play, prostate massage, and strap-on play as an escort, it was something that wasn’t being done by many. For years, you either had to sacrifice the intimacy and go see a professional dominatrix for an anally focused experience, or you had to ditch the kink all together for an escort. Gone are those days! There are a lot of providers who specialize in BDSM, kink, fetishes, and giving prostate massages, strap-on play, and anal play. Professional dommes offer a specific kind of experience, which in most cases, is going to be a lot more restricted and have more specific boundaries in place regarding what you can and cannot do with said domme. Fetish providers and escorts who specialize in kink and fetish will tend to offer a more inclusive experience. Be sure to read lots of websites and see who’s style you most identify with! There’s a place for both professional dommes and fetish providers/specialized escorts in the world of anal play, and it’s really all about what you’re looking for.

Booking a Session: Don't Say Shit That Will Get You Blocked.

Chicago prostate massage escort

Protocol for booking an experience with a domme vs an experience with an escort are, in my experience, totally different. Most dommes want you to explicitly list what your interests are to make sure you’re a good match for a session, while most escorts will stop the conversation if you say anything explicit.

Read your chosen providers website! The contents and context of the website should provide clues as to how you can communicate your wants to them. If, however, they specialize in prostate massage, strap-on play, or anal play, an escort quite often will charge additionally for those services and list it as such. A domme will often have a page that lists her interests, and again, ask you to be clear about yours. Either way, if the provider has a screening policy, it’s best not to ask specific, explicit questions prior to being screened.

You're On the Schedule: How To Be Best Prepared.

Chicago prostate massage escort

Okay! So you’ve found your provider, booked your session, and you’ve got the date on your calendar. You’re hype and ready to go, and you can’t wait for her to open the door and start in on your ass. You go in, set your rate down, and rush off to the bedroom, right?

Whoa, there! I really hope that you know this provider really well and that you thoroughly cleaned out your asshole before even making it to her place.

“Wait, cleaned out my asshole? But Erin, I took a shit 2 hours ago. I’m fine, right?”

WRONG.

I mean, the whole “taking a shit” thing is really helpful. But my friend, you are far from okay. 

You hired someone to get really intimate with what’s traditionally considered to be a taboo and “dirty” part of your body. 

Shit is, well, shit. 

We are evolutionarily designed to avoid it (no offense, scat lovers), and making sure your ass is as clean as can be guarantees you a much better and easier experience. And let’s be real— even those who do offer fetish work around scat don’t want a prostate massage client to turn into an unexpected scat play client. 

To be frank, you might even have a little bit of that conditioning I talked about in the intro, where any kind of contact with your ass/asshole is “gay” or “dirty,” so you might not even really be cleaning it well anyway. I really hope this isn’t the case, but almost seven years of experiences tells me otherwise.

If you really want to make a great impression and be welcomed back for additional sessions, you should really take the time and read the handy-dandy guide below!

HOW TO CLEAN YOUR ASS FOR ANAL SEX

Ideally, this prep is done on your own time, before you get to the provider’s space. If, however, you don’t have the privacy needed to facilitate this kind of prep work, you’ll need to let your provider know and book time accordingly. Your prep time in a provider’s space is on-the-clock unless the provider tells you otherwise. 

The easiest way to prep in a provider’s space is to either have your own enema bulb or pick up a Fleet enema. If you’re using the Fleet, dump the contents and fill it with warm water. If the provider has Dr. Bronner’s soap, add a drop or two. The rest is covered in the tutorial linked, so just be sure to follow those instructions!

Even if you do come prepped, I’d come with the expectation that you’ll be asked to shower before play begins. 

A word on hemorrhoids and anal fissures: if you have inflamed hemorrhoids or an anal fissure, do not pass go and do not collect $200. Anal play is only going to make the situation worse, and you should re-book the date. Hemorrhoids themselves don’t have to mean no anal play, and here’s some tips for getting around that situation.  Anal fissures are notoriously tough to heal, and need to be left alone. If you currently has an anal fissure or tear, ass play is absolutely a no-go.

You can learn more about anal fissures here.

Chicago prostate massage escort

The Main Event!

Chicago prostate massage escort

Now that you’re well-prepped and ready to go, it’s time to start the action! Lay down on that puppy pad, and start to relax. I know you’re probably really nervous, and that’s okay! Nerves are always part of any new experience, and your provider should be able to lead you through different techniques to help you calm down. Deep breathing in through the nose and out through the mouth is incredibly helpful, and also has the secondary effect of helping your anal sphincter and pelvic floor muscles relax.

Those muscles, the anal sphincter and your pelvic floor muscles, have to relax in order to get anything inside your ass. It’s paramount. If you’re clenching and bearing down, there’s no way anyone can get anything in there. So relax. Breathe. Repeat.

Being turned on is a huge help when it comes to being able to relax, and your provider will do what she knows needs to be done in order to get you there based on the boundaries of the session. If she’s told you it’s ok for you to touch your genitals but she won’t, respect her boundaries. You’re also free to express your own boundaries concerning her touching you, so if you’re trying to have a very anally-focused experience and don’t want your genitals touched, let her know.

Honestly, communication is paramount to ensure you both have an enjoyable time. If something doesn’t feel right, is uncomfortable, or painful, speak up! Anal play may feel different, but it shouldn’t ever be painful. Ask for more lube if you need more before your provider reapplies. Ask them to move faster/slower, or direct the pressure in a certain area. You’re exploring this part of your body for the first time, and so is your provider, so any guidance is often appreciated.

I should note here something really important when it comes to anal play of any sort: your  dick may or may not stay hard the entire time, and chances are it will cycle through periods of being hard and being limp. This does not mean you’re not turned on or that there’s something wrong; it’s anatomy. The same pelvic floor muscles that contract in order to keep your dick hard are also the same muscles that need to relax in order for your asshole to open up. Don’t worry about being impressive with your hard dick. As long as you’re enjoying what’s happening, your boner should be secondary, and trust me. It’ll come back when you’re ready to cum.

I’d like to take the opportunity at this point in our program to discuss anal/prostate orgasm and prostate milking. Tons of porn abounds concerning these areas, and I want to settle this right now.

You will (probably) not anally orgasm the first time you have an anal experience. You will (probably) not have a prostate orgasm the first time you have a prostate experience. Prostate milking, to produce complete semen, takes time and training. Your body and brain both have to learn what to do with these sensations, and to achieve those goals takes time. The porn you’re watching with people anally orgasming/prostate orgasming is number one, a fantasy and number two, a fantasy produced using professional bottoms who have years of experience making their bodies do these things.

The fewer unrealistic expectations you have, the more enjoyable your experience will be, so ditch the porn ideal unless playing the movie in your head helps you cum.

OMG ERIN I DON'T LIKE THIS: What To Do When It's Just Not It.

Chicago prostate massage escort

First off, don’t freak. This is an entirely new sensation and your body is more than likely a little thrown off. Your prostate might be more sensitive than you imagined, or you really just might not be able to compute everything that’s happening.

And all of that is okay!

Everyone’s body reacts differently to new stimuli, and I’ve had a few clients over the years really dislike or not get into prostate massage and anal play at all. Unfortunately, prostate massage and anal play has gained a reputation as being a Holy Grail™ sexual experience that makes everyone feel incredible and for some people this just isn’t true. You may be one of those folks who’s just not into it, and you can simply drop the activity and move on to something else.

I tell this story to clients whenever they’re disappointed that anal play wasn’t what they thought it would be:

The first time I ever had g-spot stimulation, I was NOT into it, in the least.  I didn’t like it, my body tensed up, and I couldn’t relax. It was a new sensation that neither my brain nor my body knew how to process, and I asked for the experience to end pretty quickly.  I was curious though, and with time and patience, came to understand the wonder that is that particular area of my body. Prostate stimulation isn’t much different in that sense, and can often take the body and brain some time to process.

If the experience wasn’t what you thought it would be but you’re still curious, keep exploring! Whether that’s done on your own or with another provider or partner, you can turn something that once wasn’t your cup of tea into something you can’t get enough of. 

Cumming To an End: The Old Faithful Experience

Chances are that your anal experience has also been an experience in tease and denial; your dick has been cycling through stages of hardness, and either you or your provider have provided some sort of genital stimulation to get you to where you need to go. 

If everything goes right, you might just be in for the most intense orgasm you’ve ever had, and that’s probably why you’ve searched out this experience in the first place. You may notice that your orgasm lasts longer, or that you’re able to get hard again faster. Prostate and anal play can reduce the length of your refractory period. But again, don’t hold me to that, as your experience relies heavily on you, your body, and your chosen provider’s abilities.

Cum volume/viscosity will be wildly different from what you’re used to. Oftentimes, cum will be much more watery, and there will be a lot more of it. When the prostate is stimulated, it produces more seminal fluid. 

Your post-orgasm self is probably in a play-doh-like pile and unable to do much. You may notice, however, that you immediately want whatever’s in your ass to come out of it, so allow your provider to remove toys/fingers in a slow and controlled mannter. 

Keep in mind though, that no matter how well you prepped, all that moving and shaking may have caused some things to come loose. On occasion, some fecal matter will come out with fingers/toys. It’s honestly not a huge deal as long as it’s minimal, and if you prepped well, that’s exactly what it should be. 

However if the mess is more than it should be, your provider may make mention of it so that you’re better prepared next time. If your provider does mention it, take it to heart and make sure to follow all the advice linked in the document about anal prep. 

Keep the puppy pad/towel under your ass until you’re ready to hop in the shower. Trust me, you’ll want a shower, or at the very least, a thorough wipe-down with a wash cloth. 

And Scene! Fin. The End. You did it!

Chicago prostate massage escort

You had your first anal experience and if all went well, you squicked, squeed, laughed, and enjoyed your whole way through it. If you’re into it, congratulations! You’ve found a new way to play with and enjoy your body. If it wasn’t your cup of tea? Don’t fret.  You shouldn’t feel obligated to continue on this path unless you truly want to. No shame in trying and deciding something isn’t for you. Should you want to try again and you liked the provider you saw, let her know! Of course, you can always seek out another provider and see if the experience is better for you (perhaps you’d even like to book me! If so, head here).

If you’d like more information, I’d recommend reading the entry above this one that’s geared towards tops. The more knowledge the better, right? I’m hoping you found this article helpful. 🙂

Happy playing!

xoxo

Erin

Chicago prostate massage escort

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Erin Black has been Chicago’s premiere alternative, BBW, Tattooed, and Kinky escort since 2011. Erin specializes in GFE, Kinky GFE, dinner dates, extended dates, and other sensual adventures. BDSM, pegging, prostate play, strap-on play, and dominant, woman-led experiences are where she truly shines.

Updated Fun Facts!

BBW Escort in Chicago

Updated Fun Facts!

In depth and random facts about BBW escort in Chicago, Erin Black

The last time I did this blog post was 2015. Some things have definitely changed while others have stayed the same (and would; I can’t change my ethnic background, after all).

It’s interesting to see how my politics, attitudes, and boundaries have shifted and changed over three years, and even more interesting to think about how they’ve changed since I first started working in late 2012.

So, without further ado, here are some answers to questions I get more frequently than not that are of a more personal nature.

————————

Erin, what’s your background? Are you mixed? What’s the deal?”

I honestly have no idea where people come up with the idea that I’m more than just white, but I STILL get asked this question a lot. My ethnic background is about as northern/western European as it gets. I’m British, Irish, German, Polish, and Sicilian. I did one of those 23andMe things, and it showed exactly what I’ve been told all my life, along with a smattering of Sardinian (unsurprising, seeing as how Sicily and Sardinia are in pretty close proximity).

So I’m white. Very white. White-privileged white.

“What’s your sexual orientation? How would you describe your gender?”

This question is pretty complicated and nuanced, and for those reasons I normally don’t get too deep into this, but here we go.

My sexual orientation is bi/pansexual. I’m female by birth assignment, and my assigned sex aligns with my gender. I identify as a woman and my pronouns are she/her. My relationship style is non-monogamy leaning towards polyamory.

When it comes to kink orientations, I really don’t care to be called “Mistress.” I prefer “Miss,” “Goddess,” “Erin,” or “Daddy.” I am FAR more a Daddy than I am a Mistress. While we’re on BDSM terminology, I don’t refer to submissives as “slaves.” Being a service top is very much part of my sexual identity as well.

“Have you been effected by FOSTA?”

I personally don’t know anyone who hasn’t been effected by FOSTA, myself included. However, the effects I’ve felt haven’t done things such as put me in harms way or forced me to see clients I wouldn’t normally see.  I’m not nearly as busy as I have been in the past due to losing ad platforms and constantly having to readjust my advertising and marketing schema, but those annoyances are slight in comparison.

It’s that whole “white-privileged white” thing, and it makes a huge difference.

If you’re curious about how other workers have been effected, I’d suggest reading and following Black politically-oriented sex workers like @RebelleCunt and @ThotScholar on Twitter. They’re both brilliant.

“You really seem to do a lot, between being an escort, running a consulting business, maintaining websites and a server, and all the other things you do. How do you maintain balance? Do you even have time to see me?”

I do have time to see you, but that’s why booking in advance is SO IMPORTANT. While I do a lot of things, all of those things added up probably account for full-time work when put together. I just break up my work in different manners and can’t necessarily “leave work at work” since I work for myself.

I keep things balanced by doing a lot of yoga, making time to be social with people outside of this industry, and sleeping in longer than I probably should. 😉

“I’d really love to see you, but I’m not kinky at all and have no interest in it. Can I still spend time with you?”

ABSOFUCKING-LUTELY! Kink is a lot of fun, but I can certainly have too much of a good thing. It’s really nice to get cozy with someone in softer, more romantic ways. Everyone enjoys some level of variety, and moving away from kink, for me, is variety that I not only enjoy, but that I need in order to feel balanced.

So yes! Book me, even if you’re not interested in kink! 😀

“How long have you been doing this? Why don’t you have reviews? Where can I learn more about you?”

I’ve been doing sex work since late 2012, so I’ll be coming up on my sixth anniversary in November of this year. By some standards, that makes me “old-school,” but trust me. There are others who have been in the business FAR LONGER than I have.

I don’t have reviews because I delisted from TER back in January. I possess my reviews, but no longer wish to participate in review culture. Considering some folks won’t read an ad, I’m hard-pressed to believe that folks who ask for reviews would be willing to get at them through TER anyway; TER delisted all American-based escorts, and doesn’t allow US-based IP addresses to access the site. So you’d need to use a VPN to get around that.

You can learn more about me by following me on Twitter and Instagram (links in the footer), signing up for my newsletter (it’s occasional, I promise), or by booking a date with me and taking me out to dinner. 😉

That’s really it for now! I should be sending out a newsletter here once I have firm dates for NYC, so for those of you interested in booking me for my NYC trip in October, be sure to sign up for the mailing list and check back here for updates.

xoxo

Erin

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#NayFOSTA and some grassroots movement.

#nayfosta

#Nayfosta, a grassroots movement.

Fuck fosta with #Nayfosta

FOSTA, the Fight Online Sex Trafficking Act, may have originally began with it’s heart in the right place. I don’t think it’s far-fetched to say that we, as non-trafficked individuals, find it appalling and abhorrent that anyone would coerce anyone else into selling services they don’t want to sell. #nayfosta

We can all agree that people who are working in this industry against their own wills should be helped. They should be aided. And perhaps in conversations prior to the actual legislation finalization, this is what those lawmakers intended. #nayfosta

However, due to the vague language of FOSTA, there are very real and very dangerous impacts that those of us working of our own volition are dealing with. Those of us who rely and depend on this work to feed ourselves, house our families, pay our bills, and live life as best we can under capitalism. For those of us who make a willing living via sex work, FOSTA has been devastating. It’s made access to advertising platforms a nightmare, sent people who were safely working indoors back to the streets, and forced sex workers to make decisions that shouldn’t have to be made.

Sex work is real work. Sex work is a profession. Sex work can even, for some, be a calling.

What I’m asking here is no small feat. It will require work and effort on a part of the entire sex work community, both clients and providers alike. It will take work, but if we do this correctly, we have the potential to change the way we engage with one another online forever. This is not a catch-all solution; no solution is. But what this solution provides is the democratization of tech knowledge and search engine optimization theories that are accessible to other businesses and folks with know-how, and even accessible to us via social media.

You hashtag Twitter, Instagram, and Tumblr. Now it’s time to hashtag your website.

#NayFOSTA is a unique hashtag that no one has used yet. It’s not cataloged by any search engine, but it could be. Search engines catalog hashtags and return results on them for search queries.

We need to implement this system as a way to be seen. We can show that we support sex work as real work, as a real choice. FOSTA states that there’s no difference between someone working in the sex trade of their own volition, and one who’s trafficked. We know better.  People need to work, and this work would be made easier if we could facilitate easy connections between clients and providers.

I’m asking you all to start hashtagging your websites with #NayFOSTA, preferably within a blog post. There will be other methodologies to do this too, mainly through website code and metadata, the systems of which I’ll explain as time goes on. By hashtagging your websites with #NayFOSTA, what you’re doing is including your website to be cataloged, by Google, for that hashtag.

If every escort in the world with a free or paid website did this, Google would become the biggest escort directory in the world. It would bypass advertising platforms. It would bypass any kind of advertising middle-man, and any website, be it free or paid, could utilize this hashtag.

Incorporating #NayFOSTA with other descriptor hashtags like #Chicago, #BBW, #Blonde, etcetera, would allow clients to further refine their searches and more easily find what they’re looking for.

This little bit of backend work, which I’m going to lead you through, will solve the main issue of what could have been a solid piece of legislation. #NayFOSTA will simultaneously support the anti-trafficking sentiments of the legislation, identify us as non-trafficked workers engaging in the market of our own volition, and make it so our clients can do the same.

I hope that you’ll join me in creating the movement for undertaking.

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FOSTA for Clients and Providers: Buckle Up and Wait.

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Fosta, and what you can do about it.

Online Safety in the age of FOSTA

A lot of folks have been reaching out, looking for guidance for what they can do to prepare themselves for the implications of FOSTA. I’ve decided to write out a plan of action that can help mitigate risk, keep your website online, and keep your social media profiles active. Please note that none of this is a guarantee, as most platforms haven’t announced what they’re going to do in light of FOSTA

This plan of action is broken up into sections, starting with your own personal electronic equipment and broadening to other areas of online safety.

How to protect your home computer, phone, and internet browsing:

  1. First and foremost, start using a VPN if you aren’t already. VPNs mask the static, unique IP address that’s assigned to all things that connect to the internet. VPNs mask your location, making it harder (but not entirely impossible) to find out where your internet connection originates. I personally use TunnelBear. The Interface is easy to use, and you can use it on up to 3 devices on their largest plan. It’s also affordable, and they run sales quite frequently. Use this on your computer and your phone. Separate your work phone from your regular phone. If you can only use the VPN on one of your phones, use it on your work phone.

  2. It should be noted that some streaming services like Netflix and Hulu won’t allow you to stream while using a VPN. If you’re streaming from the same device that you work from, make sure to close out all your browser windows, turn off your VPN, then restart your browser before connecting. If you’re SUPER concerned, clear your browsing history as well. When you’re finished with Netflix binging, just close out the browser, turn on your VPN, and resume other activities.

  3. TOR browser will not save you, for lots of reasons. The first one being that TOR browser is reliant on you connecting to a vast, private network through ways and means that are beyond the capability and means of lots of us. TOR browser is used with the TOR network. If you’re not using the two hand-in-hand, it’s like relying on the airbag in your car to protect you in a car accident and not wearing your seatbelt. I can’t possibly get into TOR here, and it’s also not my area of specialty, but connecting to the TOR network is intense, complicated, and not just downloading a browser and going from there. If you want to use the TOR browser to say “fuck you” to Google and other companies, then by all means, please do. You can learn more about TOR here and here.

Websites, overseas hosting, domain names, and website migration

Website Content

(THIS IS CONSTANTLY CHANGING AND I’M DOING MY BEST TO KEEP UP, FYI)

Unless your website is currently hosted overseas on a server overseas that’s owned by a non-American company, you’ll need to change your website content in order to claim plausible deniability. You can do this in one of 3 ways, from how I understand FOSTA:

  1. Congratulations, you are now a model. You’ll need to change your website copy in order to reflect your new job as a model.

  2. Congratulations, you’re now a porn star. Hindsight being 50/50, this may be why all the workers on Rent Men are listed as ‘porn stars.’ I’d slap a 2257 disclosure on your website as well, just to be safe. Also keep in mind your current web host’s TOS. They may not allow explicit adult material to be hosted on their platform as it is, so check out your TOS before making a ton of changes that will result in your site getting deleted anyway. (This might not be accurate either.)

  3. Consider re-writing your website in the language you’d use for an online dating profile. Innocuous, kind of fluffy. Don’t specify acts. You may want to take your rates offline momentarily and only specify them privately on inquiry.

  4. Other work like camming, phone sex operation, and fetish modeling aren’t regulated in the same way either (this is changing, so please be aware that this is not definitive). I do have to note, however, that social media platforms have been silencing our work for a long time, and have the right to delete profiles whenever they see fit. They may delete your profile for being connected to an explicit website.

The above are purely suggestions, and not guarantees.

(It should also be noted that if your website is hosted overseas, you have much more leeway with your ad copy.) This may no longer be the case; please see information regarding The CLOUD Act. I suggest reading things by the Electronic Frontier Foundation to attempt to see just how the CLOUD Act works. I am not a legal expert.

Website hosting

The most common website hosting platforms that most folks use (Squarespace and Wix), are US-owned and operated companies (Wix is Israeli-owned) that house their servers in the US and EU. They are compelled to follow FOSTA once it’s enacted, and may begin cleaning house long before the law goes into effect.

I do not suggest deleting your websites. Alter your copy. Get that in line first. I do recommend exporting and downloading a backup of your site. Note that these exports will be HTML files, and they won’t translate from platform to platform. You cannot simply just import a Wix or Squarespace website to a WordPress-based web hosting service located overseas. Squarespace and WordPress speak two different languages, and the website has to be rebuilt in WordPress from scratch. If you need a visual copy of your site so you can redesign it elsewhere, simply navigate to your website, and in the browser’s file menu, select “print.” You’ll be able to save the page as a PDF file for reference later.

So to those who are wondering if I can just take your current website and plop it into WordPress on my server or another overseas venue? Nope. That’s not something that can happen. What I can do is redesign your site in WordPress due to the translation issues noted in the above paragraph.

 Your options are not limited to me, however. You can either set up a WordPress (or other web builder environment like joomla or weebly) on an overseas server through an overseas hosting service, procure your own VPS (virtual private server) that’s owned and operated by an overseas company, or you can purchase space on a physical server that’s owned and operated by an overseas company and housed overseas. (I can only safely recommend overseas companies that are NOT a part of the EU. Iceland and Switzerland come to mind. Panama also comes to mind as well, but again, I am not an expert in this area.) The two latter, procuring either a VPS or space on a physical server, take specific knowledge and a certain level of expertise in running and setting up a server. I do not recommend either of these unless you have ample time and energy, and the self-control to not throw your computer out the window when things go wrong or won’t work properly. You could also hire someone to do this for you.

I fully recommend Swiss-based or Panamanian-based companies when looking for overseas hosting. The laws in these two particular countries are loose, to say the least. (“loose” was the wrong choice of words; both of these countries are very privacy-minded.) You’ll want your server housed in Switzerland for sure, as Switzerland is not part of the EU and is a neutral party in matters of banking and business.

I personally work with a company called Private Layer. They offer both VPS and physical server space, but do not offer hosting services. Anonymously.io offers hosting, one-click installation for WordPress, and VPS options, and only accepts payment through Bitcoin. They are located in The Netherlands. I don’t have personal experience with this particular company. Ungleich.ch is a hosting service that is Swiss-based, and you’ll definitely need to have some back-end tech knowledge to make a site on that platform. I also offer WordPress-based hosting, and you can read about the options I offer here.

Domain names

FOSTA is so broad in its language that it could even effect domain names and ICANN, the body that regulates them within the US. Top-level domain names that are regulated by ICANN include .com, .net, and .org. Lots of the domain registrar services that we use in the US are US-based (godaddy, dreamhost, namecheap, etc), and may be compelled by FOSTA to disconnect your domain from your website.

(You can purchase other top-level domains from overseas domain registrars. You can have your current domain name redirect to the new one, and your SEO should only be minimally affected.)

BE AWARE OF DOMAIN REDIRECTING.

It is a complicated process that involves backend server access. To be frank, due to the rolling over of lots of ad sites, I’m not recommending folks change their domains right now UNLESS they are sure that they can handle 301 redirects to a new domain name. Transferring the same domain to a new server/website management system is far less complicated and may only affect your SEO minimally. Quite frankly, I’m just learning about successfully redirecting sites while maintaining Google rankings, and have not redirected any of my own sites.

Overseas domain registrars do exist, but it must be noted that Whois protection is not available for all domains. You can, however, use altered information when registering the domain name. Alpnames.com is located overseas and allows you to pay with Bitcoin. There are other overseas domain registrars; a google search will reveal them. If your desired domain name isn’t available overseas, you can purchase it from a US-based company and transfer it to an overseas one.

Secure overseas email servers and encrypted calendar services

Y’all have heard of Protonmail. It’s a great service for security, and they also offer you the ability to use your own domain name for your email address. Make sure to register .ch with them- you can always change to your own domain name later.

There are other all-in-one encrypted replacements for GSuite, mainly being FastMail. Theyre an Australian company, and aren’t compelled to answer US court orders. However, their servers are based in the US, and that gives me a lot of pause as to using their service. As an encrypted all-in-one replacement for GSuite, it is enticing though.

Encrypted calendar and data services located overseas are tough to come by. Fruux is a calendar, contact, and task-encryption service that’s German-owned. Germany has pretty legit digital privacy laws, but they’re definitely no Switzerland. I can’t vouch for Fruux, as I haven’t used it myself, but being that it has mobile capability and is compatible with all sorts of operating systems, it’s worth a look/try.  SecureSwissData.com is not up and running yet, but when they finally are, I’ll probably give them all my money.

Really though. Remember to stay calm. FOSTA won’t be fully enacted until January 2019, and it’s already having an incredibly chilling effect. We are strong and we will make it through this.

 
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10 Reasons You Should Spend Time With Me.

GFE Strapon Escort Chicago

Erin Black

top 10 reasons to see me

Chicago Prostate Massage Expert Erin Black

Why, hello there! If this is your first time joining me, welcome to my tiny corner of colorful Internet space. If you’ve been here before, welcome back! Some of you are probably here because you googled “Chicago Prostate Massage Expert.” I certainly hope that’s true!

(This article is about the top 10 reasons to spend time with me. I highly suggest reading it, but if you’re looking more specifically for the benefits involved with prostate massage, please head here.)

I know that deciding to invest in spending time with me (or any provider, for that matter) can be quite a decision to make. Finding the time, the means, and the nerve to finally “pull the trigger” is a really special formula that doesn’t always happen as quickly or smoothly as we’d like to think it does.

I started running a few polls on Twitter, and while they don’t finish for another few days, the initial results have proven to be quite interesting.  While a majority of you cited the overall financial burden of seeing a provider as the number one reason for not booking (41% thus far), the other 59% of you have cited reasons that have nothing to do with cash flow. The second most common reason for not booking with a lady you’d like to see is normally scheduling issues and finding the time.

Y’all, seriously. Self-care is so critically important to keeping your mind, body, and spirit (if you’re into that sort of thing) operating at peak performance levels. Taking time to take care of yourself, even if just for an hour, can instantly improve your mood, your stress and anxiety levels, and help you feel happier throughout the day.

Seeing me, whether for an hour or for an evening, can have lasting positive effects on lots of different aspects of your life; here’s how!

1. Letting a Chicago prostate massage expert take care of you straight up feels amazing.

When you don’t have to think, plan, and execute, you can truly relax and let go. There’s a phenomenon known as “decision fatigue.” To explain, even if you’re physically not doing a lot throughout your day, the task of having to make continuous decisions is arduous and exhausting. Allowing someone else to make decisions for you (from taking the lead in bed to making dinner reservations) relieves some of that fatigue. I’m known to take the lead quite regularly, so all you need to do is show up and be present when you book with me.

2. There’s a ton of research out in the world that identifies stress as a major underlying cause of lots of health problems ranging from hypertension to coronary artery disease.

Coupled with our often sedentary lifestyles, this can lead to future problems. So, what does this have to do with self-care and seeing me, you ask? Well, you see, there’s research out there that states spending intimate time with another person, including booking a Chicago prostate massage, lowers systolic blood pressure (in the case of a 120/80 blood pressure reading, 120 is the systolic number).

3. Less is not more, and spending sensual, quality  time with me can lead to having more sensual, quality time in other aspects of your life.

When you have sex, your libido increases, and it can often be seen as a “use it or lose it” situation. So, if you’re looking to have more casual sexytime in your life, scheduling sexytime with a pro can jump-start that process!

4. Forms of self-care like meditation and exercise help lower your chances of having a heart attack later in life.

Relaxation + sex is a straight up 1-2 punch in a potential heart attack’s face. The sex part won’t replace vigorous exercising, but it does indeed count as moderate!

5. Have chronic pain issues like lower back pain, leg pain, or pain from injuries sustained earlier in life? Orgasms can help!

Whether that orgasm comes from yourself or another person, it matters not, but having someone else help achieve that goal is oftentimes way more fun and adventurous! Orgasms release endorphins, and endorphins help block pain receptors. Start working on being a little less pained by incorporating that orgasm into a session that includes massage, and tell pain to GTFOH.

6. Those of you who come to see me for one of my specialties may already know this, but regular Chicago prostate massage and regular orgasms can actually reduce the instances of prostate cancer.

Regular prostate stimulation helps get rid of potential infections that can oftentimes reside in the prostate. I’ll tell you this- I’ve been told my fingers and toys sure beat the hell out of heading to the doctor! Want to learn more about the benefits of prostate massage? Click here.

7. Orgasms help with insomnia.

I know I suffer from insomnia from time to time, and I’d guess you do too. Fortunately, all that stress relief coupled with a little hormone called prolactin can really help improve your sleep and sleep quality. You know when prolactin gets released? After orgasm! Couple that with having a super-awesome date beforehand and doing some private exploration and you’ve got the perfect recipe for much needed deep sleep. Ready to book? See my companionship rates here!

8. Skin to skin contact releases oxytocin, and that has major benefits.

Wanna know why? All these things release your body’s feel-good hormone, oxytocin. Having sex and being intimate can also increase your self-esteem and overall feelings of confidence.  Sex and sensual self-care aren’t just important for a healthy life, but also a happy one!

9. Self-care, be it sensual or otherwise, helps you develop love for yourself and love for your body.

Being kinder and gentler with yourself oftentimes means being kinder and gentler with others in your life, so the benefits of sensual self-care ripple outward into all aspects of your life! A Chicago prostate massage expert can really help put you and your body at ease.

10. While this reason isn’t the most important or the “deepest,” it’s probably the easiest to relate to. Spending time with me is straight up fun!

Having fun and playing are super important, and awesome ways to blow off steam. Creativity, playtime, and imagination are just as important now as they were when we were kids. Funtimes help elevate mood, relieve stress, and enhance overall well-being!

With that being said, take the time to take care of yourself fully. Don’t deny yourself the sensual and playful pleasures that come from spending time with me. Indulge yourself! Escape your workaday grind and just let go.

Hopefully I’ll be seeing more folks who need to be taken care of soon!

xoxo

Erin

Chicago prostate massage expert

Ready to indulge in erotic self-care?

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Chicago Detroit Blonde BBW Companion

August is about to be bangin’ with Edgy Minx, Roxanne Dupri!

Duos with Roxanne Dupri

Chicago's Consumate Companion, Kinkster, and Escort

After an awesome July with both Eda Blackwood and Addy Finch, I’m so excited for August!

One of my absolute favorite ladies, Roxanne Dupri, is rolling into town 8/22-8/25 and she’s about to heat up Chicago with some southern flair!

If you’d like to see Roxanne solo, her rates are as follows:

  • 1hr: $450
  • 1.5hr: $675
  • 2hr: $900

If you’re interested in kinky or VIP pleasures, be sure to add $150 to the above rates. Roxanne is also available for longer engagements! Check her site for additional rates.

Roxanne and I are made for duo sessions, and we tend to an energetic, fun, sensual experience that you won’t soon forget! You can read our duo session review here; are you ready for a ride?

Rates for a duo session with Roxanne and me are as follows:

  • 1hr: $850
  • 1.5hr: $1175
  • 2hr: $1600

We are also available for extended sessions, dinner dates, and the like! Roxanne and I are both foodies and wine enthusiasts, so a meal with us would be quite an experience for all the senses!

Please do take some time to read Roxanne’s website and look over her screening requirements (which are essentially the same as mine). If you’re interested in booking Roxanne solo, please contact her directly.  If you’re looking for a duo, you can contact either of us!

Here’s to making Chicago even hotter than it’s already been this summer! Be sure to follow both Roxanne and me on Twitter so you can keep up with the shenanigans that are sure to ensue!

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